9.21.2011

look of the day. embarrassing mom-moment

what i'm about to say falls into the "too much information category", so feel free to just bypass this entire post completely. it's a humiliating story, but it happened.  it actually happened.


cohen and i were out and about hitting up a few thrift stores over the weekend. chris was in boston for a school trip, and if he were here none of this would have ever happened (yes, babe...i blame you for this).

so there we were in the car travelling to our last destination when i felt the sudden urge to pee. pre-baby, i could have held this urge for hours, but, post baby? not so much. i knew there wasn't much time and i needed to find a restroom asap.  since we were only a few blocks away from the store, i decided to hold it (a decision i would soon regret), praying there would be a public bathroom i could use. as i drove those few last blocks, getting stopped by every single stinking red traffic light, the urge was getting so bad, i honestly contemplated using one of cohen's diapers to pee in (not the best thought, and no! i didn't follow through with it). 

finally, i got to the store, jumped out of the car, loaded baby bug in his stroller and power walked inside. as soon as i walked in, i saw the restroom sign, thanked the lord for answering my prayer, and headed for the bathroom.  once inside, i bolted for the only handicapped stall i could fit the stroller in and what did i find? the most disgusting (too disgusting to describe) toilet i had ever laid eyes on.  let's just say, by the looks of it, it probably hadn't been cleaned in 20 years.

"crap," i thought (no pun intended), what am i going to do now?  there's no way i was going to leave cohen in the bathroom unattended. not only was i afraid he would touch something, we were also in a seedy part of town.  so i made the decision (hey, i was desperate), to use the restroom with the door open so i could keep my eye on the little guy.

after covering the seat with what i can only assume was 13 layers of toilet paper, i sat down to finally use the restroom....and this is when it happened....the MOST embarrassing thing EVER.  i was mid urination when someone came walking into the bathroom.  there i was on the toilet, door wide open, and a stranger was walking toward us.  with cohen in the walkway, i was hoping the mystery person would use one of the first stalls and not make it to us, but that i soon realized this was wishful thinking.  as the mystery person came closer, i kept thinking, "i'm a terrible mother and this person is going to see me with my pants down." 
my idea of barricading my open stall with my child completely backfired, because next thing i know, a little old woman's face peeking in my stall.

 "is this your son?" she asked
me, "yep" (trying to keep my answers short...hoping she would leave quickly)
old woman, "well isn't he cute"
me, "yep"
old woman, "well isn't he happy?"
[insert cohen laughing and smiling. apparently he thought this was a good time to charm this new person]
me, "uh-huh" (since yep didn't work)

by now, i'm all done and ready to get out of the bathroom as soon as possible, but there is no way i'm going to stand up (and show my business) with a stranger talking to me.  this was humiliating enough on its own. i mean who does this lady think she is, and how does she not realize how awkward this is? she continues on and on, asking me what felt like 647 questions, completely unphased by the fact that i'm sitting on a toilet.

 that's when i got an idea.  since she obviously wasn't going to move (or stop talking) on her own, maybe i could move her myself? so that's what i did. using my right foot (which barely reached cohen's stroller), i started rolling his stroller back towards the door.  inch by inch, i backed the elderly woman up to where she couldn't see me and i couldn't see her. she was un-phased! still gabbing without even noticing. 

as soon as she was out of sight i got up, cleaned up, and pulled my pants up; still in disbelief about what just happened.  i felt like i was in a movie.  i don't even remember how i made it out of the bathroom, i was so utterly uncomfortable with what just happened, my departure was a blur.

so there you have it, my most uncomfortable mom-moment to date. 


button up-f21, tee-target, jeans-gap, shoes-target
{these photos were taken at the previous disgusting thrift store bathroom (chris was gone so sorry about the bad cell phone pics with fluorescent light)...little did i know what would happen in the next one}

happy wednesday! {monica}

4 comments:

  1. this is HILARIOUS... and so something that would happen to me. No lie. I love your stories :)

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  2. This is so HILARIOUS. this is something that would happen to me, no lie. I love your stories :)

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  3. oh bless, that is such a funny story! people have no shame! go away, weird old lady!

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  4. omg, that's awful & hilarious!!! so sorry! but that'll be a fun one to tell in the future :)

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